For The Love Of
by Poison's Ivy
Summary: She found herself to be a liar like Lelouch. Kallen/Lelouch Oneshot


**Title: For The Love Of... **

**Summary: She found herself to be a liar like Lelouch.**

* * *

She gulping, her hands sweaty as she gripped the Guren's controls. She took a shaky breath as the Guren floated in the air, hovering near the area where she suspected Lelouch was.

She was _supposed _to be in battle right now, but she had to do this. She felt bad, no horrible, for leaving her friends behind and in a sense, "abandoning" them, but this was what she had to do.

She had to be the one to kill Lelouch.

It pained her inside to even think about it. She felt a tugging at her heart every time she thought of Lelouch. She felt her tears coming alive when she thought about what she had to do.

But she had to. She didn't want to see Lelouch going down this path, heading for his own destruction. He was slowly destroying himself, and even if... even if he didn't love her back, it'd be fine, as long as he ended up happy.

_**Even though he killed thousands? **_

Then again, so did she. She was responsible for so many deaths, even the death of Shirley's father.

(Who did kill her?)

He never did answer her questions. Why had he told her to live on? What did he really think of her? She was one of those people who knew the answer but needed to confirm it. (1)

(... Did she really know the answer? Or was she lying to herself like Lelouch always did?)

Lelouch was a liar. He was a cold, lying bastard.

Yet she still found her heart pining for him.

Hah! Look at her now. The girl who vowed to defeat Brittania ended up falling in love with its Prince.

_No... Emperor. _

When she kissed him ... she poured her emotions into that kiss. She knew what she felt for him then. She loved him, she knew she did, right then and there.

_And now I have to kill him? _

Yes... she had to. She needed to stop him before he broke himself to pieces, before he died all the way on the inside.

(Something told her that when Nunnally died, Lelouch died with her.)

Even though Nunnally was alive now... How must Lelouch feel? Knowing Nunnally was now his enemy? The girl he did all this for...

Was now the girl against him.

She sighed, shaking her head to get rid of these thoughts. She had a duty to fulfill. She needed to save Lelouch.

Even if it meant death was the answer.

(She knew that if she had to die, she would die with him.)

She moved forward at a fast pace, finally plunging into the building where she suspected Lelouch to be.

There he was, covered head to toe in white, completely opposite of his other mask, his other identity: Zero.

(She was always loyal to Zero... and when she found out Lelouch and Zero were the same person...)

"Lelouch!" She yelled out angrily, blinking back her tears. "I'm here to kill you once and for all!"

(It was hard to sound so strong. How did Lelouch manage to do it?)

He laughed mockingly in response. "Do you really think you'll be able to do that Kouzuki Karen?"

She felt her tears falling as he acted as if he didn't know her.

Were all their moments together fake?

Was it all for nothing?

"Hai." She responded back, aiming her Hadron cannon at him, her hand shaking over the button that would be the cause of his death if she succeeded.

(Was she really ready to kill him?)

Of course she was, she had to be, for the sake of Japan...

For Lelouch's sake.

She sighed before speaking to him, possibly for the last time if her courage didn't abandon her.

"Lelouch... you never answered my questions." She started quickly, not wanting to give him a chance to change the topic like he always did. "... But I don't think you ever will."

(She really didn't. At least not now.)

The tears finally fell.

"I'm sorry I have to do this Lelouch." She said through tears while trying her best to keep her voice stable. "But..."

Her lips quivered as her hand shook even more, her finger being on top of the button that would kill Lelouch.

"I love you too much to see you kill yourself like this."

Her finger danced on top of the button, not being able to press it just yet. She had too many unanswered questions. Why did Lelouch tell her to live on? What does she mean to him?

Who was he, really?

While she was captured she spoke to Nunnally and found out about Lelouch's brotherly-loving side. As Zero she knew him as an intelligent, strong leader. As Lelouch...

She heard another crash behind her, interrupting the one chance she had at killing Lelouch. She turned around to defend herself and attack the person behind her, and cursing at herself when she realized that Lelouch was probably getting away.

But, she thought as she battled with the opposing Knightmare, that it was a good thing.

Because even though she had a duty to fulfill, (although at this point she didn't know what her duty was anymore), she knew one thing.

She was lying when she said she was ready to kill Lelouch.

* * *

**(1) - I am one of these kinds of people. I know the answer to something, but I just want people to say what I want to hear. I don't like thinking I'm right and then ending up being wrong and raising my hopes up for no reason. **

**... THIS would be my random one shot of the day. (If I had a random one shot every day). **

**In character, OOC? I'm not sure how good I am at writing Code Geass... Apologies in advance. **

**I know in "Aftermath", SPOILER - Kallen doesn't kill Lelouch but pretends to - END SPOILER, and I'm hoping this doesn't seem similar. (But I know that fic is much better than this one.) It was originally supposed to end with Kallen killing Lelouch, but PFFT, please, we all know she doesn't have the heart to. And I knew I couldn't end it with her killing him, because I believe that's way to out of character for her. **

**(Or is it?)**

**So in short, this is basically what I think might happen. **

**Love,**

**Ivy**


End file.
